Breaking the Silence: Depression in High-Achieving Black Women

 By a Black Female Psychotherapist | Psychotherapy Practice in Brooklyn

When people imagine depression, they often think of someone curled up in bed, crying, unable to function. But depression doesn’t always look like that—especially for high-achieving Black women. You might be the one who’s always “on,” always the go-to for your family, your team leader at work, the woman others admire for her strength. Yet inside, you may feel emotionally drained, numb, or like you're barely holding it together.

This is called high-functioning depression, and it’s more common than many realize—particularly among Black women. As a Black female psychotherapist who runs a psychotherapy practice in Brooklyn, I’ve worked with many women who appear successful on the outside but are silently battling emotional exhaustion, self-doubt, and sadness on the inside.

The Mask of Strength

There’s a deeply rooted cultural expectation in the Black community to be strong, to push through, and to keep going no matter what. Many of us were taught from an early age that expressing emotion is a sign of weakness or that we don’t have the luxury of breaking down. Add that to systemic pressures like racism, sexism, and workplace microaggressions, and it becomes clear why many Black women feel they have to keep performing—even when they’re in pain.

High-functioning depression doesn’t stop you from showing up. You’re still getting your work done, managing your responsibilities, and meeting deadlines. But it comes at a cost. You may be struggling with:

• Persistent feelings of sadness or emptiness

• Irritability or mood swings

• Fatigue that doesn’t go away with rest

• Trouble concentrating or feeling mentally foggy

• A harsh inner critic that tells you nothing you do is good enough

• Feeling disconnected from joy, even in things you used to love

Why the Silence?

Many Black women feel pressure to avoid speaking about their mental health challenges for fear of being judged, misunderstood, or labeled as weak. The stigma around mental illness in the Black community is still strong, and for high achievers, there’s the added fear of ruining their image or being seen as “unstable.”

Some even hesitate to reach out for help because they’ve been the helper for so long. They worry: Who will take care of everything if I fall apart?

But the truth is, you don’t have to keep suffering in silence. You deserve support too.

How to Cope with Depression When You’re High-Functioning

Here are a few mental health tips for Black women navigating depression while carrying the weight of success:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings Without Shame 

   You don’t have to earn the right to rest or to feel sad. Allow yourself to be human. Naming your feelings is the first step toward healing.

   
   

2. Break Up With Perfectionism 

   Give yourself permission to do “enough” instead of “everything.” Rest is productive, too.

   
   

3. Create Space for Joy

   Schedule self-care activities that bring you peace or pleasure—walking, journaling, dancing, or just doing nothing for a while.

   
   

4. Talk to Someone Who Gets It 

   A culturally aligned therapist can help you process what you’re feeling without judgment. As a Black female psychotherapist in Brooklyn, I specialize in helping Black women feel seen, heard, and supported.

   
   

5. Lean Into Your Support Circle

   If you’ve always been the strong one, try letting someone else carry some of the weight—even if it’s just for a little while.

My Self-Love Journal by Kezzia Q-Hilaire, LMHC

Therapy Can Help You Feel Like You Again

You don’t have to wait for things to get worse to seek support. Therapy is not just for crisis—it's for clarity, connection, and getting back to yourself. At my psychotherapy practice in Brooklyn, I provide a safe and empowering space for Black women to unlearn harmful patterns, release the pressure to “keep it all together,” and start living from a place of wholeness. I use a variety of treatment approaches, including EMDR psychotherapy and mindfulness exercises, to help clients become the best version of themselves.

About the author: Kezzia Quintyne-Hilaire is a black female trauma therapist and author of My Self-Love Journal. She uses her expertise in trauma-healing techniques to deliver tailored therapy to enhance the lives of women in New York City. As a woman of color, she is dedicated to offering culturally appropriate therapy and ensuring a safe and inclusive environment for women to embark on their healing journey.