When our hair doesn't look good we don't feel good
Written by a Black Female Therapist in NYC
As a black female therapist in NYC, I've had the privilege of working with numerous women who have shared their struggles with self-acceptance, self-love, and mental wellness. One common thread that often emerges in our conversations is the significance of their hair. For black women, hair is more than just a physical attribute; it's a symbol of identity, culture, and self-worth. In this article, we'll delve into the complex relationship between black women's hair and mental health, exploring five reasons why hair means so much to their identity and how it can have both positive and negative impacts on their mental well-being.
Hair as a Symbol of Cultural Identity: For black women, hair is often a reflection of their cultural heritage and ancestral roots. The intricate braids, twists, and styles that have been passed down through generations are a testament to their rich cultural legacy. When black women feel proud of their hair, they feel connected to their heritage and community. This sense of cultural pride can boost self-esteem and confidence, leading to improved mental health outcomes. However, when societal beauty standards dismiss or erase these cultural expressions, it can lead to feelings of shame, low self-worth, depression, and anxiety. Given the recent increase in suicidal trends among Black women, they must cultivate a more stable and empowering sense of identity around their beauty and hair.
Hair as a Reflection of Self-Worth: Black women's hair is often tied to their self-worth and self-acceptance. When they feel confident in their hair, they feel confident in themselves. A good hair day can translate to a good self-image, while a bad hair day can lead to feelings of inadequacy. This emotional investment in hair can be both empowering and debilitating. As a therapist, I've seen how negative self-talk and self-criticism can stem from hair-related insecurities, leading to low self-esteem and depression.
Hair as a Tool for Self-Expression: Black women's hair is a form of artistic expression, allowing them to convey their personality, creativity, and individuality. When they're able to experiment with different styles and looks, they feel empowered and in control. This creative freedom can foster a sense of autonomy and confidence, positively impacting mental health. On the other hand, societal pressure to conform to Eurocentric beauty standards can stifle self-expression, leading to feelings of frustration and disempowerment.
Hair as a Site of Trauma: For many black women, hair can be a site of trauma, particularly when it's tied to experiences of racism, discrimination, and microaggressions. The pressure to conform to societal beauty standards, the pain of hair straightening and relaxing, and the emotional toll of hair loss can all contribute to feelings of anxiety, depression, and PTSD. As a therapist, I've seen how EMDR therapy can be an effective tool in processing these traumatic experiences and promoting healing and resilience.
Hair as a Symbol of Resilience: Black women's hair can be a symbol of resilience and resistance. Despite centuries of oppression, erasure, and marginalization, black women have continued to celebrate and honor their hair as a symbol of beauty, strength, and cultural pride. This resilience can be a powerful antidote to the negative impacts of systemic racism and sexism, fostering a sense of community, solidarity, and collective empowerment.
In conclusion, the relationship between black women's hair and mental health is complex and multifaceted. While hair can be a source of pride, self-expression, and cultural identity, it can also be a site of trauma, shame, and low self-worth. As a black female therapist in NYC, I'm committed to creating a safe and empowering space for black women to explore their hair stories, process their emotions, and cultivate resilience and self-love. By acknowledging the power of black women's hair, we can work towards a more inclusive and compassionate understanding of mental health and wellness.
About the author: Kezzia Quintyne-Hilaire is a licensed therapist and author of My Self-Love Journal. She uses her expertise in trauma-healing techniques to deliver tailored therapy to enhance the lives of women residing in New York City. As a woman of color, she is dedicated to offering culturally appropriate therapy, ensuring a safe and inclusive environment for women to embark on their healing journey.
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